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Keir Starmer Says He Learned His Leadership Abilities From Donkeys

Peak Dead Donkey

Labour Party leader Sir Keir Starmer has claimed that he learned many of his leadership skills from donkeys.

Speaking with Rupert Murdoch’s Times, Starmer is seemingly trying to present an open and personable image as he continues to court the billionaire racist. Sadly, he seems to have only generated headlines that sound like they came from The Onion alongside producing a whole new contender for Accidental Partridge of the Year.

Recanting how attempting to stable an ass at night can be “quite an exercise”, Starmer proudly proclaims that the leadership skills that have left him 6 points behind Boris Johnson come from his experiences with donkeys. 

There has been no word from Labour on if there are plans to move the 2021 Labour Party Conference to the Tories stomping grounds in Blackpool. Nor whether the likes of Jess Phillips are to be put into service offering rides up and down the promenade.

While few would dispute that the majority of the Parliamentary Labour Party is staffed by asses and the noise that usually comes from centrists can undoubtedly be compared to the braying of a distressed mule, a more serious point is to be made. That being the continuing flirtation between the Labour leadership and the right-wing press.

It is little over a month since Starmer wrote a column for the racist Daily Mail where he stated that he didn’t ” just want all our children back in school, I expect it”. 

20,000 school children are now self-isolating as they can’t get access to COVID-19 tests with 82% of headteachers stating that they have children missing classes.

Starmer, like Blair before him, believes that the endorsement of the likes of Murdoch and The Daily Mail is essential to the Labour Party winning power. It is a belief that is betrayed by the fact that Jeremy Corbyn was within a few thousand votes of winning the 2017 election. Such a victory would have come despite the most virulent and vicious political campaign of media propaganda seen since at least the days of Harold Wilson. 

To this end, Starmer continues to go cap in hand to the exact same press that defamed and conspired against his predecessor. He grovels before the very same people who aid and abet the very social ills that the Labour Party is supposed to stand against.

It is a betrayal of all those targeted by these so-called newspapers over decades of outright abuse.

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