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As the World Sinks Into Crisis, Where Exactly Is Boris Johnson?

As the world sinks into a state of international crisis following the American assassination of Iranian general Qasem Soleimani, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has seemingly vanished into thin air.

Last seen sunning himself on the paradise island of Mustique alongside girlfriend Carrie Symonds, the British response to the assassination has been left to Dominic Raab, a situation comparable to leaving Charlie Chaplin to respond to the killing of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

“We have always recognised the aggressive threat posed by the Iranian Quds force led by Qasem Soleimani. Following his death, we urge all parties to de-escalate. Further conflict is in none of our interests.”

Dominic Raab

The meek response came after it was revealed that Britain had not been informed of the strike against Qasem Soleimani, our American “allies” placing hundreds of British citizens in Iraq and Iran in harm’s way.

Perhaps Boris Johnson is too busy searching the tropical island for a suitable nuclear bunker to comment personally. Or maybe he’s stuck in a fridge again. Either way, Johnson ignoring an incident of such international importance to world peace and British foreign affairs is astounding.

Just like on the campaign trail, Johnson is found absent and wanting when called upon.

There were growing calls from Labour for Boris Johnson to “get off his sun lounger” and take leadership of the country, with Angela Rayner stating that “leaving it to the hapless Dominic Raab will not suffice”.

In the absence of a Prime Minister, it has been left to Jeremy Corbyn and senior opposition figures to lead the condemnation and calls for restraint, with the Labour leader stepping once again into the role of a statesman in the absence of actual British leadership.

Deflecting right-wing and centrist apologism, Corbyn rightly described the “serious and dangerous escalation” as an “assassination” and called for the UK to take a stance against the “belligerent actions” of the US.

The “brazen, unlawful and provocative” breach of international law by the Americans was also condemned by Emily Thornberry who said that “the Foreign Office’s call for restraint today is too little and far too late”, criticizing the AWOL Johnson for his “pathetically unopposed” attempts to stop the White House tearing up the Iran nuclear deal.

“As the drumbeat for war with Iran grows ever louder, and the first shots are being fired, we must fight through the UN to stop this conflict, and fight in our Parliament to stop British forces being put in harm’s way in the service of Donald Trump.”

Emily Thornberry

Despite mounting criticism, Boris Johnson looks to be ready to defy calls to return to a position of leadership, the Downing Street press office stating that the government’s response to the matter was being led by the Foreign Office.

Clearly sun, sea, sand and coconuts are more important to Prime Minister Nero, a Prime Minister who is too busy fiddling with Carrie Symonds to stop Rome from burning.

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